Questions #8, 9 & 10

Today’s questions:

Slick and Chuck,

How the hell do men know about all those danged tools. Seriously. There
are a million and you always know what to do with each different one. Who
the hell teaches you that?

Slick- I’ve confessed on my personal site that I’m not much of a handyman. I know the functions of basic tools (i.e duct tape, cigarette lighters, and toenail clippers) but for the advanced tools like the torque wrench? All I see is something heavy to beat my ex wife with. Not that I do it, mind you…I’m just Givin’ It To Ya Straight.

Chuck- I’m not much of a handyman either but there is one particular tool I know a lot about and can use expertly…if you know what I mean. *wink, wink* I’m with ya there Slick on the ex wife thing!

Hey Guys,

I want to know why men are afraid to be next to each other? Why is it they sit in a theatre w/a seat between them if they’re skinny? Why is it they put an empty urinal stall between them? What are you afraid of?

Slick- I’m thinking it’s genetics. I mean, why sit right next to someone who doesn’t have noticeable protruding breasts? It’s a waste of time and we find no enjoyment from it. Besides, most of us only like the smell of our own cologne.

As for the stall question…well, that’s obvious. Some of us are a bunch of homophobes. If I see a man lookin’ at my pecker, I’ll say something which will lead to him saying something, then the next thing you know, I’m getting beaten up by a queer and humiliated in front of my friends. No thanks. I use the next stall over to avoid confrontations.

Chuck - I don’t think we’re necessarily afraid, (unless you’re in a prison cell with a huge mofo named Bubba), I think it’s mostly an unconscionable concern that we might discover that our penis’ are not as impressive as the guy next to us. See how raw and deep we here at Givin’ It To Ya Straight are? You don’t get this kind of shit from Dr. Phil. Now for the record I have to say that this is definitely not the case for me. There are several bloggers you can ask who will back me up. Slick included! lol As for the movie seat thing…I sit with empty spaces next to me simply because I’m a fat ass!

Is it true that all men want is a beer, some sex and a sandwich? If so, I have more battery-operated toys to buy.

Chuck- No, in order to make that statement true you’d have to change that to “several beers” and replace the sandwich with a juicy steak then throw in a blow job! Have fun at the sex toy shop!

Slick- I’m appalled that video games wasn’t even mentioned. Beer, sex, and sandwiches could be a staple of life, don’t you think? That goes to show you how men are simple creatures. We don’t need the same luxuries you womenfolk demand.