Questions #11, 12 & 13

Today’s questions:

Do they pull all guys aside in high school for Pimpin’ 101? Where they teach you all those lines you use. “You are so beautiful.” “You are soo sexy.” “Hey baby.” “You have the most gorgeous eyes.” It’s as if there is a tape recorder in your brain and y’all just push a button for whatever line you want to use. Who buys that crap?

Sincerely,

I Da Ho

Chuck- I Da Ho, who buys this crap you ask? Well based on your name I’d say you have a few times too many! Ba dum dum!

Slick- Awww man, she might be a Ho with morals and values Chuckie! Anyway, let me clarify my position on using “pick up lines”. With the right amount of alcohol in a woman’s bloodstream, I have found that most any pick up line works.

Slick & Chuck… why do men always blame the dog? Do you REALLY think women will fall for that one?

Chuck- In my case I usually couldn’t blame the dog. You see, for the first two years of my sweet dog Trooper’s life I wasn’t very nice to him. I’d kick him in the ass when he’d come in the door from doing his business. I’d yell at him to get off the couch or the bed. Then over the past six months I’ve had a softening towards him and now he’ll actually lay next to me on the couch resting his head on my crotch (which I enjoy, but that’s another story). Now that I’ve become so close to him I realize that it is actually the dog who’s farts stink. Trust me, I can smell ‘em. It’s only natural to put the blame on him! Then again, as I’ve mentioned in another post, I can blow the anal horn with the best of them!

Slick- I have no dog to blame so I usually make sure my wife is near, point at the nearest kid, and tell him/her how damn rotten they are.

Here’s my question:

1. What the average penis length?

2. Why do some penises look big (shower) and others grow to be big (grower)?

3. What’s the average length of time until ejaculation – blowjob? jerk off? intercourse? and for the hell of it – anal intercourse?

Yeah – answer that boys.

Besos!

Chuck- Well, let’s see if we can educate ya here…1. Average length? Three and a half inches (at least that’s what Slick tells his wife!) I think they (they being penis professionals) say average is like 5.5 to 6 inches. 2. Thank God for the ability to grow! I think some of us are growers because we have shy dongs. At least that’s what I read in Men’s Health. 3. Okay, I can only speak on this one from experience: Blowjob can take a while, but it all depends on the technique. Give the balls and taint some attention and it’ll speed up the time considerably! Jerk off? For me it’ll last as long as the porn clip! Intercourse? Again depends on the technique. I would say it could be anywhere from a few minutes to an hour. It just all depends on how you take things. If you’re going to jack hammer without stop you’ll be done pretty quick! Anal? Hmmm, I rectum (lol) the answer here would be the same….unless there’s a strong smell of ass or anal leakage.

Slick- 3 and a half isn’t average? Dammit, I’ll never show this site to my wife now. Nah, I heard 5.5 is the norm (like Chuckie said) but please, that’s like so middle school.

2. I’m with Chuckie on this one. Some have to be teased and coaxed to come out while others are always ready to play. I don’t know why, but hell…

3. I’m totally clueless as to the average times for question 3. I think they all differ with each man. Like blowjobs, my wife would get lockjaw if I let her go until the climactic time. Jerkoff is quuuuiiick. Intercourse would be about 2 minutes (I also tell my wife this is the average time) and anal? I’m a sheltered southern boy….I’ll let you know after tonight.

Chuck- Slick…so are you saying you’re hung like a middle schooler? LOL