Questions #21 & 22

Todays questions:

So our 19 yr old son has become….a boomerang kid. He won’t leave, he eats us out of house and home, doesn’t clean up after himself, he doesn’t work enough, and well…it’s time for him to go. It was hard letting him go in the first place, but our finances have been depleted lately, and here’s an adult child with his hand out. I love him dearly, but it’s TIME TO GO. It’s just really hard to tell your child to leave, you know? When I was his age, I had moved back with my parents already. But I finally found someone, and moved out. I didn’t WANT to live with my parents after college. I enjoyed my freedoms. We have 4 younger kids who HAVE to depend on us. Here he is, jealous of everything they get. Don’t get me wrong, I love my son. He’s a cute kid and we get along great. BUT…it’s time for him to join the military, or move in with a friend, or work more than 20 hours a week. His truck is broken, so he depends on us for rides. I know you are thinking “oh, I’d kick him out”…blah blah blah. It’s hard when it’s you. It’s hard knowing what you SHOULD do, and what you DO do. ~ Frustrated Mom

Chuck- Frustrated Mom – What do you think this is, Dear Abby or something? lol Okay, let me get serious here for a minute….If you have a 19 year old man who is mooching off a financially depleted mom and dad and is still living at home, I’ve got two words for you…Armed Forces. Drop his ass off at the nearest recruiting office and tell him it’s time he do something with his life to make him, and those who care about him, proud. Let him know that you and Dad have bent over backwards to help him in every way you can but those days have to stop. Assure him that since he’s not willing to find a job that he can support himself with, his Uncle Sam will step in and provide that service. You can also help seal the deal by reminding him that chicks love a man in uniform! Good luck!

Slick- I’m with Chuckie. Armed Forces baaaaaaby! That or charge the little moochin’ bastard some rent and tell him he has to buy his own damn vittles. Can you set him up with any of your buddies daughters? Maybe that would motivate him to get up and do something.

A healthy, Southern man wakes up at 06:00 AM, goes to work at 7:00 AM, has lunch at 11:00 AM, gets some work done, takes some pee breaks and leaves work at 4:00 PM. My question is…….from the time his eyes opened at 06:00 AM until he clocks out of work……….how many times has he thought about sex?

Chuck- Okay first of all you forgot about when we take our dump breaks.  It ain’t all about the peeing.  Anyway from 6am till 4pm this healthy Southern man thinks about sex approximately 2,400 times.  Breaking it down that would be four times every minute.  This can vary though depending on the day and what I’m doing.  If I stop off for lunch and some hot chicka leans out of the drive thru window with her tig ole bitties staring me in my face that number may go up considerably.  On the other hand I could find myself on a warehouse tour with some fat ass man named Lou with his crack showing and reeking of serious body odor.  In that case I ain’t thinking about sex or anything other than getting the hell out of there and back into my car.

Slick- This is easy. 400 million times. I think about cleavage at least 93 million times a day. Then I think about blowjobs 87 million times. My wife in a french maid outfit or nurses uniform 69 million times and Jessica Alba wearing a see through nightie 48 million times. Whatever the hell that adds up to is how many times a day I think about sex.