Questions #32, 33 & 34

Today’s questions:

Why are men such pussies when they are sick?

Slick- While I may admit to the fact that men groan and moan a little more when we’re “under the weather”, I’ll also point out that it only happens every so often. Why do women moan, groan, and bitch a week out of every month? I mean, since we’re comparing and all….

Chuck- I think it’s the whole Mommy thing. Whenever I’m sick my first thought is wanting my mom to take care of me. Mom’s know what to do when their kids are under the weather (well except for my ex wife) and the mother’s of the world have generally conditioned their boy children to grow up as pussies when they get sick. So, if you’re a mom….you’re responsible.

Ok, guys, I’ve got a serious question for you. What is it about the TV that sucks the life out of you all? What is it that causes you to lose your hearing? Why is it you can hear a dying victim whisper her last breath on CSI but you cannot hear a 5 year old ask you to serve her some juice or help with her homework?

Slick- Ha…Chuck? When did we say this would become a male bashing site? Damn….ok look here dear person who asked this question, it’s because we bought that damn juice. The kid wants more juice? He needs to go get a job. He’s done had 3 today already.

Sorry, thought I was talking to my ex again…

TV is so much more entertaining than listening to nagging. ‘Nough said.

Chuck- Yeah Slick, it would appear that the man bashers are out in full force. And yeah, I totally agree with ya on the juice. So, what is it about a man who can hear shit on tv but ignore others around him? Well it’s simple. You see, menfolk have so much responsibility on their shoulders. We’re the ones who make the world go round. It’s hard, sometimes, to tune out the constant thoughts of “working for a living”, “mechanics of the cliterus (is that how you spell it?)”, “price of a gallon of gas”, “who’s going to win the SEC Championship”, etc and worry about something as unimportant as juice.

Why do younger men like older women so much? Is it the learning curve? The mom factor? What is it?

Slick- I’m 37, if I get a woman older than me, I’d be buying her a coffee with a senior citizens discount at the local Hardees. No thanks. When I was younger, it’s just the lure of an older woman that was attractive. I mean, older women were the only ones we saw naked at the time (using Dad’s Playboys) so it kind of stuck with us as we progressed in life. At least until the woman turned 30….then it would be time to fixate on another one.

Chuck- For those of you in the Western half of the country Hardees is Carl’s Jr and they have some killer breakfast action! Okay…..just wanted to clear that up. So yeah, Slick is on track with his answer. The whole older woman thing pretty much dies out once you hit your 30’s. I once, about 6 years ago, slightly hooked up with a woman who was in her 50’s. I was at a bar in Guymon, Oklahoma and this feisty, and attractive, woman started hitting on me at the pool tables. I eventually went back with her to her motel room and as she was slobbing my knob she told me how her son was a couple years older than I was. That kind of freaked me out a bit. I was out of there within five minutes, once she had finished. So, in conclusion, I’d have to say men tend to move away from the “older woman” thing at a certain age and the “mom factor” has nothing to do with it. At least not for me…

Questions #29, 30 & 31

Today’s questions:

Do men have real friendships with women? Or are they merely women you want to screw and can’t?

Slick- Let me be blunt dear reader…..if it’s got titties, I can’t be real friends with it. I mean, me and Chuck are buddies and I don’t stare at his titties. He’s too freakin’ hairy for my tastes. See, if I had a close female friend who had’em, I’d just be staring at them all day. What kind of friendship is that? So no….in my professional expertise, there is no such thing as a platonic relationship.

Chuck- Thank you Slick for not starring. You know it would bother me if you did. Anyway, back to the question…I honestly believe men can’t have real platonic friendships with women, unless there is something really wrong with her or she looks like Hillary Clinton or something. The mind of a man just doesn’t work that way. Slick mentions titties in his response and I agree, but for my answer I’ll say it’s ass. I can’t talk to a woman for more than 8.4 seconds without wondering what her ass would look like all naked and bent over my crotch. And I know that’s wrong, but I just can’t help it. You can bet your husband or boyfriend does the same thing. It doesn’t mean he’s gonna cheat on you. It’s just the way many men see things.  With this being the case, please note I can always use more female friends!
I work really close to a male co-worker. He has a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend. I am not sure if the co-worker is being nice to me or interested in me or just being a guy and likes my big tits. We have become really close to each other and make dirty comments to each other when are around each other. Is it a bad that I want to do bad things with him? Granted both of us are with other people, we would not act on it, but I just want the thoughts out of my head. What is a girl do to do?

Confused.

Slick- Dear Confused, you just answered the first question. You dirty dirty girl…dirty dirty. I love dirty text messages. You’ll let us know when you do her boyfriend, right? You dirty girl, you. Chuckie? Somebody needs a spankin’

Chuck- Yeah man, I’m definitely feelin’ the “dirty girl” vibe here. I think, in order to honestly answer your question, we’ll need to see a pic of the “big tits” in question. Meanwhile, if you’re wanting to get the thoughts out of your head I’d suggest you change jobs, cause I’m thinking (and I’m sure Slick would agree) you and him are destined to hit the sheets way before Memorial Day, at the rate things are going.

What is it about Midget’s that turns a man on? Mr Mustang turned me down the other night because he preferred to go with his buddies to a ballerina bar and watch Bridget the Midget strip. I ran into him and his friends later that night and there were a few other men there that were not a part of their group. They over heard us talking about it and chimed in that they thought she was was just the greatest. What is up with that?

Slick- I love midgets. Really, I dated one once but she kept her nose all in my business. I don’t know…a lot of guys fantasies are doing midgets and siamese twins. Not me personally….I’m just sayin’

Chuck- I have been a fan of Bridget The Midget since I first saw her in a “free download” porn clip on the Internet two years ago. She’s a hottie! I’ve always had a thing for Asian Midgets and I once saw one standing on the sidewalk in downtown Birmingham, Alabama. I nearly rear ended the car in front of me when I did. What is it about midgets that turn a man on? Well I think it has a little to do with the desire to see our usually monster sized man meat appear so much more gargantuan in the hand/mouth/other orifice of a smaller sized woman.

You’ve got questions? We’ve got answers….

Hey!  Chuck here…

Have y’all been wondering where me and Slick have been over the past two weeks?  Well here’s a pic of us out on the lake last weekend.  We thought we’d get together, drink some beers, cast a line or two and help out a few college co-eds with their education expenses.  It was a fun time, don’t get us wrong, but the real reason for our get together had nothing to do with beer, fishin’, blow jobs or broads….

It had everything to do with the future of this here blog.  You see, it would seem that after eleven previous posts where we’ve answered your questions, we’ve finally run out of them.  If we’re going to continue this great public service experiment we’ve got going here we’re going to need your continued help.  Y’all need to email us your questions.  In addition y’all need to mention us on your blogs.  Post a link and let all your readers know that FINALLY there is a place where they can find the truths that have been missing from their lives for so long.  You know all women need our help. Is it fair to keep us all to yourselves?

Remember ladies….we’re here to help, but to do so we need your help. You’ve got questions? We’ve got answers!